Those eyes… like a doll’s eyes…


April 1, 2010 (Day 61) — The Cricket

First, I apologize for taking a break from my Easter/spring themed cocktails. But, I just couldn’t resist finding some sort of “prank” cocktail for April Fool’s Day. If you’re going to be entertaining people with your drinks, might as well make them wretch when the time calls for it, right? Now, my natural inclination is to go with the Cement Mixer — Baileys and lime juice — because my “friends” were nice enough to submit me to that abomination when I turned 21.

But don’t worry. There are plenty of other times I can think of where we can bust out the Cement Mixer to prank someone. You wanted examples? Well, shit I don’t know… How about Wright Brothers Day?

These guys have “party animal pranksters” written allllll over ’em.

No… The Cricket strikes me as something a bit more… evil. Something a bit more… horrifying. More importantly, I’ve never had one, so it will give me something new to relate to you, my dozen faithful readers. After all, if you’re going to prank someone, you need to have a point of reference to know if it’s actually worth taking the time and energy to do the prank. And this one, courtesy of an interview for AOL news sounds repellent. I give you…. The Cricket.

3 oz green creme de menthe

6 oz cranberry juice

Mix together in a rocks glass. Serve.

According to Mr. Decker in the above linked article, if done properly, this little bastard is supposed look black.

Evil, liquified.

That’s black, so I must have done it properly. Not that there really is any “proper” way to do something like this. Now, the article recommended buying this foul brew for someone who has no idea what’s in it. So, naturally, one would think I would test this out on Jenn.

But here’s the thing. I love my wife. More importantly, I have to share a bed with her.

You guys don’t.

I’m trying this bastard on myself. If I don’t make it back alive, tell scotch that I loved it.

….

I can’t even… I just…

That’s mean. I could easily see this drink becoming the basis for a drunken brawl in a barroom come April Fools. I’m now convinced that THIS is what Nyquil is made out of. Creme de menthe and cranberry juice. Godamighty this is rancid. My stomach started cramping and refusing anymore after five or six drinks. Anyone who could finish this little bowl of evil has a stomach of iron.

In other words, this is the perfect April Fools drink. Hop to it!

Happy April Fools!

— Mark

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  1. […] me. And this drink did. I was really expecting something truly nasty — almost along the lines of The Cricket, truth be told. But it’s not! It’s […]

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