Church Lady Martini

March 15, 2010 (Day 44) — Church Lady Martini

The first cocktail guide I ever purchased was my junior year at the University of Kansas was a book called “Martinis” by Sally Ann Berk, which actually wasn’t so much a book as a series of cards with martini recipes on them and some killer photography Zeva Oelbaum.

But here’s the killer part of these martinis. They. Well. Kick. Your. Ass.

Straight up.

Like, shanked with a screwdriver in a back alley kick your ass. And leave you bleeding on the dirty concrete.

So, you wouldn’t expect something called the Church Lady Martini to be dangerous. Holy shit.

Church ladies apparently like their liquor hard.

So, here’s the recipe:

  • 4 oz gin
  • 2 oz dry vermouth
  • 2 oz orange juice
  • Dash of pineapple juice

Pour into chilled martini glass rimmed with sugar.

It’s good. It’s strong. It’ll shank your bitch ass without a second thought.

See you in church!


— Mark


  1. […] we haven’t used anything from the ass-kicking cocktail book in a while, why not try another one […]

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